The Damaged Lobe

 This isn’t your grandfather’s economy…

But maybe it should be.  Fear of a double dip global recession is creating an economic maelstrom as the European Union teeters on financial collapse.  Greek insolvency and mismanagement of capital with French banks threaten to drag the European Union into a complete state of chaos.   To add to the growing fears the projected economic growth of the United States and Japan fell short of predictions and growth in China slowed as consumer frugality continues amid concerns of a weakening job market and soaring unemployment.  The European Union has moved aggressively with desperate measures to shore up Europe’s financial markets, pumping billions of Euros into the Greek economy.  It’s taking a toll on the Euro and financial markets are being hit hard as investors worry about the impact of Greece’s collapse on global markets.  This is leading analysts to believe that the world is tail spinning into another recession or the old ‘double dip’, taking your potato chip that you just took a bite out of and dipping it again into the bowl of debt, to the collective gasp of horrified investors.  Hey, I double dip all the time.

In the U.S. the European debt crisis and weak job growth has caused the markets to have their biggest decline since 2009 and unlike before where we were assured that the U.S was not in a recession (even though we all knew we were) analysts are now stating that the economy is entering another, having not exited the first one.  The forecast of an impending global market crash is becoming somewhat apocalyptic.  I have even read one person’s advice to store flashlights and batteries since we will all be without power when the economy goes kaput.  Yes, we are going into a double dip recession and yes we are facing an unprecedented global financial catastrophe but look on the bright side, we saved the NFL season so at least we will still have football, until the lights go out.

So where does this leave us?   Well, it leaves us waiting for the hammer to fall.  We hope that the IMF can withstand the collapse of Greece if in fact that happens, and perhaps Europe should let it happen and stop pumping billions into a nation that is just going to default on its loans anyway.  There will certainly be more fallout from the Greek collapse other than just failed economics; the Greeks are facing high unemployment, tax increases and sky rocketing inflation, and the population is growing impatient so add political instability to the mix. 

The news only gets better.  Spain, Portugal, Italy and Ireland are also facing a debt crisis of their own. 

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice

We look at Greece and Europe and we think to ourselves “Jeez, I hope that doesn’t happen here”, so let me quote something I said earlier “…the Greeks are facing high unemployment, tax increases and soaring inflation…”   Well that sounds eerily familiar.  Here in the U.S the jobless rate varies depending on who you ask and who does the math.  My daughter calculates the unemployment rate at 13.3%, I say 10.6% and the unemployed guy next door puts it at 100%.  The current unemployment rate as calculated by the Bureau of Labor and Statistics is at 9.1%.  However some estimate that the unofficial unemployment rate could be as high as 24%.  That, if it’s true, would be staggering.  Well since Mr. Obama took the helm of the HMS Titanic we have been plowing full speed ahead and the Obama administration has been navigating issues like the Titanic navigated icebergs.  Yes he inherited a mess, but he also pledged change and a promise of hope and at the end of the day all they [the administration] delivered was a crap-load of ‘nope’.

Mr. Obama the Nobel Committee called.  They would like their prize back

Let us also remember that Mr. Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize only twelve weeks into his presidency for reaching out to the world through diplomacy, a grand accomplishment that had not yet been accomplished.  Nothing much has changed since then, we are still in Afghanistan, we bombed Libya without senate approval, there is no resolution between Israel and the Palestinians, revolutions and demonstrations throughout the Middle East (and harsh government crackdowns) and Jesse James giving up Sandra Bullock for some tattooed, crazy, freakish looking, ghoul thingy.   With such instability and a failed economy at home Mr. Obama’s approval rating has gone up in flames faster than a Zeppelin in New Jersey. 

Oh, the Humanity.

The NBA needs love too

A new tell-all book has surfaced (The Rogue:  Searching for the real Sarah Palin; Joe McGinness) that highlights some apparent indiscretions by the polarizing conservative and former presidential running mate Sarah Palin.  In his book Mr. McGinness asserts that Mrs. Palin of all things snorted cocaine from an upside down, fifty-five gallon drum while snowboarding.  That seems to be a Herculean feat.  I tried drinking a Pepsi once while in an inverted, negative 5G dive with a Mig 29.  No one had ever seen a Mig 29 that close before, especially while sipping on a Pepsi, but enough about my Air Force heroics.  The book also claims that she dabbled in Marijuana.  Well if I lived in Alaska and the highlight of my day was staring at the Russian coastline from my back porch I might drop a line of coke and smoke a doobie also.  It’s not like I’m going to the mall or something. 

One of the more eye opening allegations though is that she slept with Michigan Alumni and future NBA star Glenn Rice.  Well NBA players are people too you know.  They have needs.  Mr. Rice did not deny the claim and said that they hit it off, had a great time and that he had a ‘big crush’ on her.  I put this in my ‘so what’ category and am not sure why this is a startling revelation.  Mr. McGinness’ book goes on to claim that she freaked out because she had slept with a black man and fired those on her staff that weren’t white.  Mrs. Palin is apparently a drug crazed, narcissistic bigot that is a conservative hypocrite. 

I’m not sure what Mr. McGinness was trying to accomplish other than a lawsuit.  His royalties will now be spent on a lawyer.  I Hope his is better than mine.

Oh Those Pesky Laws of Gravity

After days of speculation, concern and warnings the six ton NASA Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite met a fiery death somewhere over the South Pacific last week ending days of speculation as to where the falling debris may land.  Unfortunately they were still speculating where it landed well after it burned up ending speculation as to whether or not NASA really knows what it’s doing.  NASA and the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) tracked the satellite through its proposed reentry and then lost track of it.  Fortunately since the earth is two-thirds covered with water it landed somewhere other than someone’s living room.  Supposedly we would have had a twenty minutes heads up to flee to safety but since NASA couldn’t really tell us when it was crashing or where it eventually landed the twenty minutes head up would have come twenty minutes after the 9-11 call saying a molten metal Volkswagen bus had landed in someone’s bedroom.  Though NASA couldn’t predict with any certainty where or when the big bird would crash they were able to tell us it was a 1 and 22 trillion chance one of us would be hit by falling debris, which incidentally is about the same chance that the Detroit Lions will ever make it to the Super Bowl. 

Well NASA may be getting another shot.  The German Satellite ROSTAT is expected to reenter the earth’s atmosphere by the end of October and NASA analysts say that the satellite is expected to crash to earth with the same fiery intensity and downward velocity as Mr. Obama’s approval rating.  I doubt it could be that spectacular.        

But it’s the Chicken of the Sea

PETA recently unveiled an ad for promoting veganism using a picture of a Great White Shark devouring a swimmer.  PETA’s ad was directed at Charles Wickersham who was attacked in the Gulf of Mexico by a shark while spear fishing, thus the ads statement “Payback is Hell.”  Wickersham survived the attack but required nearly eight hundred stitches.  I myself completely understand such things as natural selection, knowing full well that at any given time I am in the food chain and not necessarily at the top of it.  Yes payback is hell; there is payback everyday in the natural world.  However being vegan does not necessarily make you less of a target just because you eat vegetables, it just makes you slower and more vulnerable because you lack sufficient protein in your diet.  So if some vegan gets ripped to shreds by a Tiger Shark near Miami are all vegans going to go on a fish-eating frenzy for payback? I think yes.  PETA forgets the reason we developed large brains was because we came out of the trees and started eating flesh and the only reason I am going to be eaten by a shark, a bear or a Bengal Tiger is not because I had prime rib the night before and they are seeking revenge but rather because I was slower than the guy in front of me.  Consequently this brings on my quote of the week.

“We feel that we do have to something unusual. We believe a provocative ad is a good way to bring people to our site and raise their awareness about how animals are mistreated.”

Yes, animals are mistreated.  Show me something on this planet that isn’t.  I was married for eighteen years, PETA should show my leg sticking out of the mouth of my ex-wife.  I respect nature, always have and always will.  I love nature but my love for it will never outweigh its desire to eat me or my desire to eat it.  The only time I am at the top of the food chain is when I am standing in the meat section at the grocery store and I’m ok with that. 

If god didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them so tasty?

Idiot?  Guilty as charged your honor!

It is probably well known inside my loyal reader circle that I have been beset with legal issues.  This year I have faced a divorce, a bankruptcy and a legal problem involving one of my kids.  It seems that I have spent more time in court than I have spent at work and nearly all of my vacation time has been spent either in court or desperately trying to find a place to live for myself and the kids.  It has been quite a year.

One of the benefits about spending so much time in a courthouse is it affords great people watching, much better than that of an airport or a bus station.  Some of the things I have seen and heard and people I have witnessed has truly enriched my life and made me a more complete person.  Ok, not really.  There was the time when I sat in the courtroom awaiting my turn when a very old woman took a seat before the judge and began her diatribe about her son who yelled at her, threw things at her and just sounded like an all round a**hole.  So I watched her as she went on, she was difficult to understand and she often didn’t make much sense, but hey she was old so I let it go.  Then I heard the judge ask her a question I will never forget. 

“And you are fifty years old?” 

“Ah, yesh your honor.  **cough**.  Yesh”

Jesus lady!  You’re fifty?!  Lay off of the meth!  It looks like her fifty is the new seventy three.   

One of my favorites involved court appropriate attire.  I was once again sitting awaiting my turn, wondering where my $400 an hour attorney was, when a very large woman (very large) walked through the door wearing spiked heels, black spandex pants, a bra and a mesh top.  I momentarily lost my vision as my retinas began to smolder.  Thankfully she was shown the exit and reappeared later wearing a t-shirt.  I however was left with severe mental trauma.  The physical scars may heal but the emotional ones will not.

My favorite courtroom experience came recently as I completed my bankruptcy.   I sat in a room with about twenty other debtors, waiting for my turn to share my financial woes with complete strangers.  The first couple spoke absolutely no English.  None at all.  Then it turned out they didn’t have driver’s licenses or even social security cards.  They did however have one passport and a paper from the embassy.  Now how on earth does someone who has no identification and no social security cards, get credit in the first place to go bankrupt?  The next couple, well they spoke no English.  The third person spoke English however mother did not.  We spent a lot of time on the phone with an interpreter.  My favorite however was the couple from Yuba City.  Their bankruptcy was going smoothly when the judge stopped and began asking questions on their expenses.

Judge:  “You have listed $500 per month for Casino’s?”

Wife:  “Yes ma’am.  We had a problem but we’re cured now.”

Husband:  “We sure blew through our money!”

Judge:  “Um, you have listed $1200 a month for gas?”

Wife: “Yep! His truck gets but eight miles to the gallon!”

Judge:  “Uh, $225 a month for school supplies?”

$225 for school supplies?  What in the hell are your kids doing in school, building a new gimballed robotic arm for the International Space Station?  Needless to say this couple was referred to the trustee board and their bankruptcy, well is going away.  I find it irritating that this couple is there because of a gambling problem and then had the audacity to pad their expenses to include an ongoing gambling problem so they could file for chapter seven.  I’m there feeling disgraced, doing what I have to because I am now a single dad and have two great kids to take care of.  More court dates are ahead and more of societies finest ahead of me I’m sure.

It is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Please use the link to get to the Susan G Komen website.  Help find a cure.

-SC

Goodnight to you all

Goodnight to you Jenny